Lesson 2: Design Your Dream Relationship

5th House


Got a love jones? Enter the 5th house, the domain of romance and new relationship energy. The action happening in this house directs the early stages of attraction, such as courtship rituals, where to go on dates, where you may find true love, how you express passion and reveal your feelings. This house has similar properties to the fifth zodiac sign, Leo: passionate, demonstrative, and hopelessly romantic!  

I have these planets in my 5th House:



Exercise: After reading the information in the table below, grab your journal or print out the accompanying worksheets for this lesson. Reflect on the planets (or lack of planets) in your 5th house. What does this tell you about your approach to romance? Do you have a "bizarre love triangle" of planets with different energies here, such as Pluto, the Sun and Uranus? Or is the house empty, a blank canvas—and perhaps an area of life that could use a little more attention? Free-write and see what comes up for you! Remember: There is no correct answer, so allow your intuition and heart to guide you too.  

Here are places and ways that I may enjoy romance:

PLANET

WHERE AND HOW YOU DO ROMANCE

Sun

Bring on the PDA! When you're falling for a (potentially) special someone, you want to be seen together, turning heads and stirring up attention as a powerful and sexy pair. Your courtship style can flamboyant and over-the-top. You want marathon dates, curated gifts and flower deliveries sent to your office so all your coworkers know just how lucky you areMake a budget, because romance is an expensive affair for you. But it's worth every penny since you are someone who lives for love. You tend to fall hard and fast, counting down the minutes until you can shout "I love you" from every rooftop and change your social media status from single to "in a relationship." 

Moon

Dating is a highly emotional activity for you—one that can stir up everything from excitement to anxiety. You are highly intuitive, especially during face-to-face encounters. Tune in, because you will likely have "a feeling" about your date's potential from the moment you lay eyes on each other, or exchange a few sentences. By the same token, your sensitive nature can make you a little guarded initiallyThe trouble is, dates may misread this as a lack of interest, so you may have to nudge yourself to be a bit more inviting and open. If you have mixed feelings after that first meetup, plan a second get-together to test the chemistry when the first date jitters have passed. Go for coffee or share a meal so you can get a feel for your date through conversation. As time goes on, you'll enjoy creating sentimental memories together like "our songs" and "our favorite restaurant."

Mercury

Lingering over coffee and gazing into each other's eyes? No thanks! While you love to exchange witty banter, you need to move around. Activity dates are your jam, especially if they give you something to talk about. Fill up to-go mugs and wander through a gallery district. Pop into vinyl shops, try on vintage, then go check out a lecture or film. It's all about variety and curiosity for you! You're a natural flirt and may enjoy dating a few people simultaneously until you find someone who can keep up with your multidimensional interests. (Just check the impulse to message a new Tinder prospect while you're on a date with someone else!) Friendly, lighthearted activities are your favorite way to bond and you may include your BFFs in some of the plans. 

Venus

Sorry, no spontaneous meetups at the corner Starbucks for you! Romance is an art form that you're here to master—whether you prefer to create a fantasy that's as blurry as Monet's Water Lilies or craft a romance that's as gorgeously glorified as Kehinde Wiley's celebrity portraits. For you, every date should be a curated experience, with reservations made or tickets purchased in advance. You'll take the time to research the best restaurant, wine bar or live entertainment in the area. You abhor cheapness but adore luxury. Plan ahead! When it comes to your dates (even the first one), you like to have time to prepare, primping and picking out an Instagrammable outfit. 

Mars

Passionate playdates are the way to your heart—the more active and physical the better. You'd rather meet for a bike ride or salsa dancing than sit through a chef's tasting menu at a candlelit restaurant. (Unless, of course, there is a cooking lesson involved.) Attractions heat up quickly for you and you have little patience for old-fashioned courtship rituals. Less than an hour into a good date, you might be holding hands, kissing or a whole lot more. Research shows that shared adrenaline rushes can help couples bond, and this is completely the case for you. High-octane experiences will keep the embers stroked: sex on the first date, skydiving on the second...well, why not? As an "excitement junkie" you may struggle with some of the mundane aspects of dating. Keep your expectations reasonable. Your love interest can't be fiery, energetic and turned on 24/7.

Jupiter

The hunt is on! For you, the pursuit can be one of the most pleasurable aspects of the romantic process. You love the thrill of a challenge! Anyone who is too easy to woo won't feel like enough of a "prize." With your worldly sensibilities, your dating portfolio may be as diverse as the United Nations, and you may have a strong attraction to people who come from different cultures than your own. Since your mojo may be the strongest (and most immediate) while traveling, you could have a lover in every port. Attached? Taking weekend trips and long vacations is the ultimate romantic high. Since Jupiter rules higher education, you could meet your soulmate on the university quad or in a self-development workshop. Every date should feel like an adventure and a new experience, whether you're sampling the mimosas at a new brunch venue or going on a ten-mile bike ride to a private beach. 

Saturn

Slow and steady wins the romantic race. You like to take your time to really get to know people. You're a cautious dater who may be fearful about getting involved with the "wrong" person—or becoming sidetracked from your personal ambitions by romantic dramaEmotionally, you can be reserved about sharing your feelings, but this can make it hard for interested parties to gauge your level of attraction. Try giving them a clear signal of interest with physical affection or words. (It can help to simply let people know, " I'm into you." While you'd never rush into a relationship, be careful not to move at such a glacial pace that the object of your affections loses interest. You enjoy dates that have a purpose or "process" to them, like cooking an elaborate dinner, going on a long day trip/hike/bike ride, or shopping for a specific item like a Mid-century sofa or rare vinyl. 

Uranus

When it comes to love, you tend to leap before you look! You're a spontaneous romantic who follows the moment—and can develop selective amnesia when an attraction overtakes you. (Boyfriend? What boyfriend?) The line between love and friendship often blurs for you, and you may meet your mates through your social groups or via introduction of mutual acquaintances. You like your dates to be unscripted or offbeat, meeting for experimental theater performances (especially incorporating technology like VR), festivals, underground hip-hop showcases or shopping. Freedom and individuality are things you hold dear. You won't rush to put a label on a relationship—or even commit to monogamy! Since Uranus rules the Internet, you may be luckier than most at online and app-based hookups. Just make sure you don't get stuck behind screen names forever—a pitfall for this Uranus placement which gives you a penchant for digital romance 

Neptune

Rose-colored glasses? Check! You're a hopeless romantic who loves to be swept off your glass slippersWhen it comes to date planning, you require a high level of fantasy. Your meetups should be an escape from everyday life, whether you're ducking into a gorgeously appointed craft cocktail bar, watching an indie film or kissing passionately on a moonlit beach walk. Music always gets you in the mood. Since Neptune rules dance, you may find love under the disco ball (or in the DJ booth). You can be passive during the courtship process, waiting for others to text you...and privately obsessing. Or you may seduce with coy hints or esoteric gestures, building up major sexual tension in the process. Be sure that your flirtations aren't too opaque or you could throw bae off of your trail. Ultimately, you want romance to feel relaxing. Book side-by-side spa treatments, take your date to a sound bath, or try a tantric meditation when you're ready to enjoy a home visit. 

Pluto

You're an undercover lover who prefers to woo in a private setting. Meet for drinks at an underground club or in the tucked-away corner booth of a dark restaurant. From the very beginning, you like the vibe to be intense and intimate—and the sexual chemistry so strong that it's like no one exists except the two of you. Having a date's undivided attention is a must—rubbernecking and wandering eyes can be deal breakers for youSince the fun happens behind closed doors (and often in the bedroom), once you get comfortable with someone, you may simply plan more "just the two of us" dates at home or in sexy hotelsGetting out for nightlife is one major exception! Pick up two tickets for all the must-see plays, concerts, DJs and so on—and use your cosmically divined charms to try to gain access to the VIP suites.

Empty House

When it comes to dating, you're as versatile as they come—the type who could write in your profile, "I'm as comfortable in sweatpants as I am in a ballgown." (But please...don't.) When it comes to romance, you may even feel like you can't be bothered to try and that you'd rather just leave it up to fate. But being that laid back would be a shame, since you'll find that with little effort, you are actually quite fortunate at attracting dates and mates. You might not necessarily have a "type," which can make the process of getting to know people exciting and overwhelming. Having TOO many choices could give you a case of analysis paralysis. Let go of the idea that there is one "right" way to do love...or even only one right person. You may be compatible with a soul group instead of just one soul mate. 

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